We love a good yarn over a nice cuppa. Give us a shout before you pop by so we can get the custard cremes/boubons in. Or let us know if you'd like us to pop over to you - we do have portable biscuit capability as required. It's worth pointing out that you shouldn't feel worried or uncomfortable as a result of us not having any 'zany' facts about our 'mis-fit/pirate' staff and their bafflingly interesting quirks. If you're looking for this kind of thing, you should just ring John and he'll make some stuff up on the spot.
Oh, and we even have a proper like land line phone number that isn't one of our mobile phones.
We're like turtlely legit.